The short joke on "Best Husband" goes like this:
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
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Showing posts with label woman jokes and humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woman jokes and humor. Show all posts
Joke: Forty-five at least
Traffic Policeman: When I saw you coming round that bend, I thought - Forty-five at least!
Woman motorist: Well, I always look older in this hat!
Jokes and humor category: Traffic jokes and humor
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Narcissist joke and humor
Angelina: Whenever I see a mirror, I can never resist looking into it for at least a few minutes to admire my flawless complexion. Do you think that's vanity?
Julia: No! More like imagination.
Jokes and humor category: Narcissist jokes and humor
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Man and woman joke and humor
Some wise men said sometime...
Women are to blame for all the lying men do - they insist continuously, asking questions!
Jokes and humor category: Man and woman jokes and humor
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Man and woman joke
According to some wise men...
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Jokes and humor category: Man and woman jokes and humor
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Women are like Internet viruses
Some techie men believe, women are like Internet viruses:
- They enter your life...
- Scan your pockets...
- Edit your mind...
- Download their problems and...
- Delete your happiness.
Jokes and humor category: Internet jokes and humor
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Marriage diet
A newly married couple in a shopping mall...
Wife: Stop looking at girls, you are married now!
Husband: You mean if I'm on a diet, I can't even look at the menu?
Moral: Men will be men!
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Lucky man
Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.
Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!
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Husband - Who?
A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is 'honest'.
A man who surrenders when he's not sure, is 'wise'.
But a man who surrenders when he's right, is surely a 'husband'.
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Millionaire husband
A woman was telling her friend, "It's me who has made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?", asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."
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Merits of having 2 wives
Some men strongly reasons in the merits of having 2 wives, because they believe...
Firstly: Monopoly is always damaging.
Secondly: Competition improves service.
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Blind love
"They say that love is blind. Well, then, marriage truly justifies to be an institution for the blind!"
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Wedding humor
Question: Why do men want to marry virgins?
Answer: Because they can't stand criticism.
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Women believe...
Some women believe that men have double standards, because...
- They hate cats, but love pussies.
- They don't want to be called a donkey, but love to ride a good ass.
- They like to eat chicken, but prefer to feed the cock to chicks.
- They hate being called a dog, but enjoy themselves maximum in that position.
Moral: Men will be men!
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Dog bit wife
Man: I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my wife.
Friend: Did you have it put down?
Man: Of course not! I just had its teeth sharpened.
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Adam and Eve
Just think, if Adam and Eve were married, it surely would have been a peaceful and the happiest married life ever. Because He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to tolerate his mother's old recipes.
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Man and Woman -The 'eternal' truth?
The (eternal) Man: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
The (eternal) Woman: No silly boy! I'd love you no matter who left you the money.
Moral: The eternal truth between man and woman.
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The husband needs some rest
After thoroughly checking a man (accompanied by his wife) at his clinic...
Doctor: Your husband is perfectly all right. He only needs some rest, that's all. Just take this sleeping pills.
Wife: When should I give them to him?
Doctor: Oh no, those are for you.
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The reality...!
True Friends stand by you in your bad times.
Do you want documentary proof for this?
Just check out your marriage album, you will see all true friends surrounding you!
Moral: Only a 'married' person knows, what exactly it means.
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Man, 'Money' and Woman
A man will pay $2 for a $1 iteam he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 iteam that she doedn't need, but is on sale.
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