Marriage diet

A newly married couple in a shopping mall...

Wife: Stop looking at girls, you are married now!

Husband: You mean if I'm on a diet, I can't even look at the menu?


Moral: Men will be men!

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Lucky man

Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months.

Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!

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Husband - Who?

A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is 'honest'.

A man who surrenders when he's not sure, is 'wise'.

But a man who surrenders when he's right, is surely a 'husband'.

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Millionaire husband

A woman was telling her friend, "It's me who has made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?", asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire."

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Merits of having 2 wives

Some men strongly reasons in the merits of having 2 wives, because they believe...

Firstly: Monopoly is always damaging.

Secondly: Competition improves service.

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Blind love

"They say that love is blind. Well, then, marriage truly justifies to be an institution for the blind!"

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Wedding humor

Question: Why do men want to marry virgins?

Answer: Because they can't stand criticism.

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Women believe...

Some women believe that men have double standards, because...

• They hate cats, but love pussies.
  

• They don't want to be called a donkey, but love to ride a good ass.
  

• They like to eat chicken, but prefer to feed the cock to chicks.
  

• They hate being called a dog, but enjoy themselves maximum in that position.
  

... the list goes on...


Moral: Men will be men!

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Dog bit wife

Man: I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my wife.

Friend: Did you have it put down?

Man: Of course not! I just had its teeth sharpened.

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Adam and Eve

Just think, if Adam and Eve were married, it surely would have been a peaceful and the happiest married life ever. Because He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to tolerate his mother's old recipes.

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Man and Woman -The 'eternal' truth?

The (eternal) Man: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

The (eternal) Woman: No silly boy! I'd love you no matter who left you the money.


Moral: The eternal truth between man and woman.

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The husband needs some rest

After thoroughly checking a man (accompanied by his wife) at his clinic...

Doctor: Your husband is perfectly all right. He only needs some rest, that's all. Just take this sleeping pills.

Wife: When should I give them to him?

Doctor: Oh no, those are for you.

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The reality...!

True Friends stand by you in your bad times.

Do you want documentary proof for this?

Just check out your marriage album, you will see all true friends surrounding you!


Moral: Only a 'married' person knows, what exactly it means.

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Man, 'Money' and Woman

A man will pay $2 for a $1 iteam he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 iteam that she doedn't need, but is on sale.

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Marriage blues

Some wise men had said sometime:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man worries about his future after he gets a wife.

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