Doctor and patient

Patient: "Doctor, I think I've got an inferiority complex."

Doctor: "Don't be silly. You really are inferior."

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Definition of 'adolescence'

Adolescence: The period in life between puberty and adultary.

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The hot shot broker

A young broker had just started his own real estate office. Sitting there pretty, in his rented, well furnished office, he saw a man coming into the outer office.

Wishing to appear the hot shot, the broker picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments, while the visitor kept standing in front.

Finally he hung up after 10 minutes and asked the visitor, "Yes! Can I help you?"

The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

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Indecent conduct

A Scotsman was fined for indecent conduct at Edinburgh, last Friday. According to witnesses, the man had continuously wiped the perspiration off his forehead with his kilt.

Note: A kilt is a knee-length skirt with deep pleats, usually of a tartan wool, worn as part of the dress for men in the Scottish Highlands.

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Bureaucracy and Civil Servants

Question: How many Civil Servants does it take to change a light bulb of a lamp-post?

Answer: Twenty-two

Explanation: Ten to form a committee, five to form a sub committee, three to form a working party, two to hold the ladder, one to put in the bulb, and one to write the report.

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My admiring Boss

"My boss thinks very highly of me. Today he even called me a perfect nonentity!"

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Dumbo and Bambo

Dumbo: "I have one of the most intelligent cats in the world."

Bambo: "What does it do?"

Dumbo: "Watch me pretend to shoot it. BANG! -You're dead!"

Bambo: "But the cat didn't do anything -he's still just licking his paws."

Dumbo: "That's what I mean about him being intelligent! He knew he wasn't dead."

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